I have never been one for resolutions. But, I understand why people do. It feels like a New Year is a blank slate. It isn’t. We never get a blank slate, not really. No amount of running or making amends releases us from the regret of the bad things we’ve done and the amazing things we didn’t do. So.. we tell ourselves that it’s a new year! So…we can start over. We know we can’t but it’s such a cute and endearing thought that we do this every year. Well, some of us. This is going to be my first time making New Years resolutions.
1. Restitution. To myself. I owe myself recompense for the years I’ve beaten myself up for past mistakes, and for the time my past takes up in my head. I am not my mistakes. I am not my past. I am a wonderful person. A great mom and a good partner.
2. Health. I also deserve health. My kids deserve my health. I don’t have to go gluten free and all crunchy munchy…but I resolve to become proactive about my health.
3. Weight. I want to lose weight. I am not comfortable with the way my body looks right now and want to be 10-20lbs lighter.
4. When people show me who they are…I will believe them. The first time. Don’t keep thinking they will change. Words mean nothing.
5. Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.
I am tired.